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    Application for dating my son

    I expect you both to contribute to your relationship.

    It's most important to me that the commerce between you be LOVE.

    If you are in need of cash, I will understand if my son provides that for you, but he should have a firm understanding of what such a transaction may mean.

    If my son is in need of cash (though I pray to God he won't be) I would appreciate it if you'd help him out.

    Any attempt to make contact might cause you injury.

    If your application is rejected, two gentlemen with violin cases and "one-size-fits-all" cement shoes will notify you.

    Now and then, I'll come across a post intended as humor that really bugs me.

    When I look at what the post is really saying, it's just passive-aggressive repetition of the tropes and assumptions that I don't want to include in my parenting.

    (And yeah, I feel like all or most of this could apply to any child.) 1.

    You can go through the list of females in your neighbourhood to browse through their pictures.

    NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, history, lineage, recent FBI background check, psychiatric evaluation, and updated medical report from your doctor.

    When would it the best time to interview your father, mother, relatives, neighbors, minister/rabbi/priest, and past girlfriends? You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.

    (supply phone numbers) __________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ Thank you for your interest in my daughter. Do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, anyway).

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